Buckle Up, Here Comes a Rant

Hello dear reader, I’m not sure if you noticed, but the world has kind of exploded with sexual harassment/sexual abuse news. I’ve been just kind of rolling with it to the best of my ability. It is ultimately a good thing that this is all coming out. But I’d really like to address some things I’ve been hearing… address them with rage.

OMG! We’re all going to be prudes and NEVER have fun AGAIN.

Ok, first of all, what the fuck do you do for fun? How the hell does “remembering that other people don’t exist for you to torture them” infringe on your fun times? Maybe you’re an asshole who doesn’t deserve to have your “fun.” Ever thought of that? Continue reading Buckle Up, Here Comes a Rant

Our Culture of Mass Shootings

Okay folks, let’s get some stuff out of the way first thing. I know responsible gun owners and gun enthusiasts. I know people who hunt and go to gun ranges and gun shows and they’re all responsible kind people who don’t relish the idea of blowing someone away. I assume you know these type of people too. I am not here to say that these people are a menace. I am here to say that as a country, not just gun owners, we’ve got a culture problem.

Now, let’s talk about what the problem isn’t, not directly.

Not Enough People with Guns.

This is just… It’s a solution that at the very least lacks nuance. It’s like people saying, “Fight fire with fire!” without understanding things like fire breaks or controlled burns… So they light your car on fire when they see flames on your house. Continue reading Our Culture of Mass Shootings

The Pressures of Masculinity – Part 2

Part 1 of these essays provides some context as to why I’m writing them and covers the negative consequences for men in regards to women being trophies for successful masculinity. The next subject I will cover is how patriarchal standards require men to perform masculinity in a way that emphasizes action, strength, and dominance and the negative consequences men face.

Now, to a certain extent these attributes are also valued in women. But in a patriarchal society, I consider them in much the same way that physical attractiveness and social adeptness are valued in men as compared to women. Is it advantageous for a man to be good looking and socially smooth? Absolutely. Are these things required for him to be perceived as masculine? No, but prettiness and social consideration are required for women if they are to be perceived as feminine. Being attractive in a way that’s pretty or being extremely socially conscious can even make a man seem effeminate. After all, the term metrosexual wasn’t devised because being deeply concerned about how you look and what others think is part of traditional masculinity.

Continue reading The Pressures of Masculinity – Part 2

The Pressures of Masculinity – Part 1

It has become relatively common to hear that patriarchy hurts everyone. While I generally believe that this is true, I’m usually hesitant to talk about it because the concept seems to invite a rather unhelpful dialogue. Often “Patriarchy hurts everyone” translates to, “That’s enough women talk; let’s get serious and talk about men! You know, the real people.” I’ve seen people make the argument that men were and are historically treated worse than women, that the patriarchy hurts men because without it they would get laid more, that feminism also hurts men, etc. It usually doesn’t behoove me to spend the energy trying to wade through it all.

So why would I talk about patriarchy hurting men? I’m obviously not too keen on it. Well, I stumbled across this poor guy’s Internet cry for help:
Continue reading The Pressures of Masculinity – Part 1